there's a peaceful meadow surrounded by trees in my heart. doesn't matter how fucked up everything is. there is an astral place that i can always go. not to escape, but to recharge to i can try to help calm the anxiety that surrounds me. there's so much stress everywhere. people who are afraid of conspiracies and people who are stressed out by the anti-mask conspiracy people spreading disease. plus now we have the president's proud boys on standby. living under that stress breaks people down. 😩
if the stress gets to you its hard to keep going. i have this silly idea that i can help heal people somehow, i never really let go of that part of my christian upbringing. i may be pagan now, but i still feel the need to help and heal.
i do my little bit with hugs and whatnot. i hope that we can help each other stand up and do good things even in the face of disaster. if we can't hold each other up now, the darkness might win. don't let that light of love and friendship dim now!
@xj9 I'm curious to hear more about your sense of how wanting to help and heal others is connected to Christianity as well as this vibe I get that you somehow see this as pathological?
@xj9 Ah, I was responding more to your emotional senses of things, really. Seems like you've changed religious identities and that often means having perspectives on the emotions surrounding them.
could be that its part of who i am. i was never drawn to the hellfire parts of Christianity. it always seemed to be that post-jesus that kind of stuff was cruel for no good reason. i was a christian missionary for a while, and i really put my heart and soul into trying to help people. i didn't baptize a lot of people, but that wasn't my goal. i was there to serve.
when i eventually came home and moved to another state (i'm from south texas) for school, i became disillusioned with church. it all seemed so superficial. at least back home we would organize service projects regularly and go around doing good in the community.
i was at a church school, so i took a leave of absence to figure some stuff out. i had some spiritual experiences up in the mountains and never went back.
@xj9 Wow. And that led you to Paganism?
@xj9 Ah, gotcha. I think perhaps I didn't fully read and grok your original post, hence my wondering and questions. None of this leads anywhere; I've no dog in this fight and was just curious about your feelings.
@roadriverrail that's chill ^^
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